January 12, 2008 | Lifestyle
In our society’s quest to go “green” I think we need to take a deeper look at what might be causing our Earth’s steady environmental decline. If we can find a cause then we won’t have to keep coming up with band-aid solutions! After some in-depth research, hours spent in front of the computer, several trips to the library and a few phone calls, I think I have finally made headway in this ever-so-daunting question. The answer…
Stop reproducing!
That’s right folks. I know it might be hard to hear but I think it’s the only way we can save the planet! Sure, the chemicals we use in our cleaning products, our over-sized vehicles and our overuse of non-recyclables may be contributing to the decline but nowhere near as much as a new human being does! Look at it this way… with each new person born to this earth that is one more person to use up our precious food, water, fuels and oxygen. Plus the pollution and the green house gasses these not-so-eco-friendly little people emit! How can we be so selfish as to reproduce? Why, just to carry on our family name and genetic line? Think of the expense this has on the planet! Even the “greenest” of “green” adults can quickly become the Earth’s worst enemy when a new baby enters the picture. The buying of the gas hogging SUV or minivan, the purchasing of mass-produced toys from carbon-emitting factories, all those little convenience items like diapers and baby food, the extra use of water to keep that little bundle of joy smelling and looking it’s best…
Now, if you are adamant on reproducing there is one way to make it a little more eco-friendly or “green” as everybody refers to it now. Avoid over populating the planet by making sure that a few souls leave the earth before you bring another one into it. Offset your children to make the world a better place! “Sorry, Grandpa Charlie, you gotta go! There’s a baby on the way!”
Sadly, this is what can really happen when you take things too far. Many things are good in moderation but are some people really willing to sacrifice the future generations in order to be “green”? Talk about selfish! People have used this argument as a way to justify abortions and human selection and that deeply saddens us here at Broom Huggers. We love our kids and families and that is why we put so much effort into trying to keep them safe, happy and healthy. And besides, we enjoy all aspects of procreation, so I think we’re willing to make other sacrifices to offset our children’s carbon emissions.
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Deanna says:
Ha ha ha ha ha. Awesome post. Of course, as I was reading this…I thought it was written by the Broom Hugger that is expecting #3…
I think the solution is to move to a small town, where you can walk everywhere. Sell your car altogether!
January 12th, 2008 at 3:54 pmJeana says:
I agree with you! Now to find that town!
January 12th, 2008 at 5:01 pmScott says:
“Sorry, Grandpa Charlie, you gotta go! There’s a baby on the way!”
Genius! I think we can all think of people we’d trade in to make room for our new models.
The Green movement might turn into the Soylent Green Movement.
January 12th, 2008 at 6:29 pm