Kids keep it clean? Could it be?

By mudlark • January 18th, 2009

Q from a reader: I don’t particularly care if my child likes to mess things up or get dirty. What i can’t stand is repetition. The worst is coming home “Everyday” and there are toys everywhere and i’m tripping all over the place. Or if my daughter repeatedly spills her milk all over the sofa. Individual messes are okay with me but continuous picking up after them starts to give me anxiety.

I agree! And a lot of it depends on their ages. Kids can be taught to clean up after themselves, but it requires effort and a healthy dose of age-appropriate realism. Appreciation for ‘order’ and a ‘picked up house’ are an acquired taste, so to speak. It’s not something that kids are born with, and most don’t learn it until they see a meaningful benefit in it. For instance, when a child learns that he can’t play his favorite toy because he can’t find the pieces, he may begin to see the value in tidying up. Too often though, that development doesn’t happen until college or after. So, what can parents do to help their kids develop a taste for an ordered home?

First, kids do what they live. In other words, they naturally pick up their parents’ habits. Keeping your own bedroom and living spaces tidy helps them acquire the desire to keep their things clean. That effect is even more powerful if tidying up is a social activity. Ask for their help to clean up a room; build clean-up time into the day – and clean up with them; make it a part of time spent with their friends either at your home or theirs – everyone is responsible for cleaning up before going home.

Next, give your child age-appropriate tasks starting early. For instance, a 2-year old might be responsible for getting his dirty clothes into the laundry bin or gathering all the books together for you to put on the bookshelf. A 4-year old can actually put the books on the bookshelf and help separate laundry into lights and darks. A six year old can reasonably be expected to keep a bathroom picked up, with clothes in the laundry bin and counters neatened. You get the idea.

Also, kids don’t necessarily do what you expect, they do what you inspect. Giving the task your attention to check it over gives it value in their eyes and teaches a valuable lesson in doing things well.

Lastly, there’s that old adage, if my child spills milk on the sofa once, shame on him. If he does it twice, shame on me. In other words, don’t underestimate the powerful effect of hands-on parenting. That can be one of two things, depending on your situation. Either don’t give your child milk to take to the sofa (keep it at the table or in a spill-proof cup), or create consequences that will put the burden of spilled milk on her, not you. In other words, if she spills milk she has to clean it up, even if that means she doesn’t have time to play with friends. The threat of hard work may be enough motivation to keep her milk at the table.

Basically, lay the foundation early for a tidy home, but remember that cleaning is a taught skill. And yes, it’s possible to have a clean home even with kids.

Comments(3) Kids

Comments

By BabyBedding on March 6th, 2009 at 3:31 pm

Great info! As a stay at home Mom that also home schools we always seem to have some mess going on. It can be hard to keep up. I do have to say as my kids are getting older they do help a bit more.

By Teresa on March 10th, 2009 at 5:07 am

The most difficult part being a mom is keeping the house tidy. Like you said i am sure it will change as they grow older in the meanwhile will try out the HARDWORK trick on my kids.

By Cloth Diaper on April 23rd, 2009 at 1:03 am

I believe that it also depends on what they are taught when they are growing up. I have my son who likes to take out things but not interested in putting them back, while his cousin even keeps the original boxes of his toys neatly packed. At a young age its actually difficult to read their minds and behavior, however when they grow up if problem persists then there is a serious issue. Reading some books on cleanliness and neatness would help them. There should be some books around.

Think Amazon should be a good place to find such books under self help, motivation section.

Cloth Diaper